all my life i had an awareness of how my life would go. in my 20’s i had this vision. i would raise my kids in my twenties. in my 30’s i would work my head off, so i could coast through my 40’s but after that it was blank. when i hit 50, i didn’t know what to expect. but was relieved to make it to 53. then it happened.
i found myself going for a 3rd surgery for an umbilical cord hernia that plagued me since my 20’s. when i woke up from the surgery i didn’t know who tracy (the love of my life) was. i didn’t realize it then, but i was suffering a major stroke. it was all a blur for the next 2 weeks. The surgeon said i wasn’t going to make it through the night. I had a 5% chance.
I know it was all of you, my art friends who got me through the night. I still get teary thinking about it.
I woke up 3 days later, and i couldn’t move my right side, nor could i talk. but i made it! that began the long recovery i was in for the next 2 years (and still in).
I still can’t talk well, but i get by. My dr.s said i wouldn’t walk. By the time i left the hospital 3 weeks later i was walking (all be it slow) . i still have right side weakness. that means that i can’t raise my right arm all that much and i am slowly gaining ground with my right hand. i don’t have taste buds on my right side, and i walk with limp.
previously (before stroke) i was right handed. for last 2 years i am learning to use my left hand but i try as i might it isn’t cutting it. i write with my right hand very very slowly now and use scissors with my right. that has saved me.
what also saved me was journaling. i do it every day. sometimes its good. other times not so good. but i keep at it. i use collage most of all. i adore collage, even before stroke. washi tape and stickers are number 2. i had to get over posting (@teeshamoore on instagram) because it was all bad in my book. When my PT (physical therapy therapist – Charlie) told me i should keep at it, because there are so many more people out there with strokes, that struck a chord with me. suddenly i wasn’t afraid that i wasn’t what i used to be.
so that is my story for now. i have a new chapter in my life. and new grandson who is the light of my life (he is 15 months). i take each day at a time now, rather than careening through life at the speed of sound.